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May 21 2018

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“millenials killing cable”



okay, so here’s the thing. i’ve got a student prime account and netflix. comes to about $15.91 a month. if i added the commercial-free version of hulu, it would come to $27.90 a month.

basic cable before internet is $64.99 a month. which includes commercials. and infomercials. about a quarter of all television is commercials. which is about $16.25 a month to have someone selling shit to you.

explain how it’s my and my generation’s fault that we’re not falling for the same scam our parents are.

Cable killing itself by not adapting to the market.

May 20 2018






i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.

Two things I learned.

One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.

Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.

However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

May 19 2018

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Why do I find these so funny

Reposted bySakerosjulannjanuschytrusquap





People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

drinking permit

“What’s that in your sippy cup?”


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Did you know that Sephora offers a free class for trans folks on skincare/makeup? I did not, but a friend of mine shared it out. They offer a number of more general makeup classes, but given some more unique needs of trans/non-binary folks it’s cool to see a class specifically targeted this way (even if it is partly just a marketing tool to get people in and trying out products).

It looks like there’s one being offered in the Twin Cities in June, so if things work I may check it out. Curious to see how they approach it, and it might be a good excuse to use that Sephora gift card I’ve been sitting on for a while.

Play fullscreen



The thumbnail is not enough to prepare you for the ride you’re about to experience.


May 18 2018


Fallout 4 Gothic

  • You wake up cold. Your son is missing. You return to your home. Is it your home? Yes, of course it is.
  • You stumble across a town. Covenant? Everything is clean. The townsfolk smile at you. Their smiles stay. You begin to wonder if their faces are stuck like that. You hear faint static. The static increases the harder you look at them. You feel an uneasy sense of dread. They ask you to stay for dinner. You decline and turn to leave.The door won’t open.
  • Your arm is severed by a deathclaw. You fight back the pain and sleep on a dirty mattress. You awake to find your arm reattached. Your fingers do not feel like your own.
  • Everywhere are skeletons. Sometimes you hear rattling behind you. You turn and out of the corner of your eye a skeletal hand moves. You don’t mention it to your companion. They already know.
  • You take a sip of nuka cola. Still carbonated. Hasn’t it been 200 years? Your geiger counter begins to scream. You decide not to drink anymore.
  • The same songs play over again on the radio. The radio dj is almost always crying. Part of you wonders if he really exists. Most of you doesn’t want to know.
  • You found your son. At least you think you have. You wish you hadn’t.

highlights from the medieval scholars that took over my workplace today





so my campus is currently hosting an ENORMOUS conference of scholars who study medieval history. they’ve been completely flooding the tiny cafe where I work and drinking our coffee faster than we can make it, but the good news is that they provide some PRIME people watching, including: 

  • the fact that all of their name tags include pronouns so that I won’t feel bad assuming anyone’s gender in this post
  • the woman RANTING about one of her colleagues on the following grounds: “he thinks he understands it from some class he took in 1996! FUCK OFF, TOM.”
  • the man who was loudly and earnestly discussing the “influence of the Harry Potter fandom on our modern political discourse” while he got a soda 
  • before he was out the door he’d switched topics to his preferred methods for teaching students about elves 
  • the two nice extremely polite young British lads who I could not tell apart to save my life. their name tags indicated that they were apparently not twins, but cloning does not seem impossible.
  • the sheer number of people graciously volunteering to buy lunch for people they’ve just met 
  • an unexpected number of very handsome soft butch women involved in medieval studies. I am bisexual and weak.
  • the guy in the flannel shirt who had the coldest, softest, most feminine hands I’ve ever encountered. I fell in love with him for a good 60 seconds. I am bisexual and weak.
  • people who aren’t from America being cheerfully confused by our money, including my favorite, a Canadian woman who told me “I’m slow with American money because it’s all the same color.”
    • I’ve learned that people who aren’t going to be in the country for more than a few days don’t give a SHIT about their change and will toss all of it in the take a penny/leave a penny jar. I collected so many quarters, y’all.
    • also a nice British woman called it the penny pot, which is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard and absolutely its new name.
  • just in general the EXTREMELY good grace and patience with which everyone accepted that we only have 2 cashiers and that it takes about seven minutes to make more coffee.
    • SEVERAL times after I apologized for the coffee wait (because this is customer service and minor inconveniences mean we have to grovel) the response was ‘lmao no worries this just means I get a fresh pot’
  • a woman approached me to day with a fucking enamel pin of that old illustration of a nun gathering dicks from a tree (you know the one) and I said immediately “oh my god, is that a pin of the penis tree?” and she looked stoked and said “yes it is the penis tree! you’re only the second person to recognize it!” what kind of boring ass medieval scholars has she been hanging with???? she was probably so fucking excited to finally have company where she could wear that pin and nobody said anything??? rude.
  • you know, this one
  • image

    I have more:

    • every single person who said “cheers” when I gave them their change.
    • the painfully hip young man who was dressed entirely in standard academic business casual EXCEPT FOR his shiny silver doc martens. 
    • me: “you boots are amazing.”
    • him: “!!!! thank you!”
  • the man who walked in, spotted the selection of high octane energy drinks, and nearly cried with relief. when he came to the register to pay for what was probably enough caffeine to kill a horse he looked me dead in the eye and said cheerfully “thanks, I’m jet lagged as shit and I can’t be expected to function right now.”
  • the dude who overheard my friend Austin listening to Florence and the Machine, started chatting with him about it, and asked him out on a date
  • I sold a hot dog to An Actual Nun
  • You know Florence’s Mum is a renaissance scholar with a specialty in fashion/material goods history, yes? Evelyn Welch, superstar.

    I didn’t know that, but it explains a lot about Florence’s style and I’m very happy I know it now


    netflix needs an option for ‘i tried watching this once and it was horrendous. please stop telling me to continue watching and remove it from my lists forever’


    I’d like to give a very big fuck you to anyone who talks badly about janitors, trashmen, maids, house cleaners,ect.

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    UPDATE || Thursday May 17th || 2018

    Current readers, click *here* for the update!


    You can track #avasdemonupdate for all the updates!

    please try reading my space drama comic if you like cute gay aliens


    Every time someone has the word rad/radical in their url: it’s time to play ‘are they a gross fucking transmisogynist or do they just like gnarly 90s surfer slang’. Or as I like to call it: Surf or TERF?

    May 16 2018

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